How to Take Over the World. Global domination has been a worthy goal throughout the history of mankind. A few noteworthy historical figures have tried but no one has managed to rule the entire world. The technological advances in communications and travel once again bring the thoughts of ruling the world to power-hungry despots everywhere. Remember to watch your competition because everybody wants to rule the world.
Gain control of your own country. Anoint yourself ruler and immediately take command of all military resources. Use the military to commandeer all of the country's financial resources. Be somewhat benevolent or you may find yourself shot in your sleep.
Form friendly allegiances with as many countries as possible. Infiltrate their social and economic infrastructure until you dominate their culture and economic productivity. World domination is best achieved quietly. Use military action only to free oppressed people from oppressive dictators. They'll barely notice when you become their new dictator.
Build military bases in allied foreign countries. Offer military protection to all countries in need. Create joint military task forces with foreign powers but ensure that only your generals have the power to make any decisions.
Infiltrate unfriendly countries with persuasive individuals, a.k.a. spies, that advance your culture. Build discontent with the status quo while developing an armed rebel alliance. Convince the rebel alliance to topple their government for you, offer financial and military assistance to the new leadership.
Keep the excesses and bad habits of your family members out of the public arena. Live reasonably and express concern over the environment, poverty and freedom. Be seen as a ruler who merely wants to make the world a better place, not a despot with the goal of world domination. Keep your friends close and your enemies closer.
Exert global domination publicly only if absolutely necessary. Rule the world privately but completely. Squash those who oppose you by discrediting them. Allow students to challenge authority but corrupt the best by giving them high-paying jobs and a pleasant lifestyle. Acknowledge condescendingly, that youth is merely a time of rebellion.
Rule the world. Revel in your success at world domination. Play life and death games with your friends, family and perfect strangers. Die knowing that your name is engraved on public buildings. Well, at least until the next evil genius figures out how to rule the world.
- Never admit you rule the world, only admit to being a global leader.