How to Handle Being Ignored by Your Boyfriend

by Ruth de Jauregui

Life is good, all is well, and then you send a text to your sweetheart -- and get silence. You send another text and receive nothing. So you call him, and he doesn't answer. While he might be too busy to chat at that moment, if the silence stretches on for days or weeks, "Houston, you have a problem." While momentary lapses happen, when your boyfriend pointedly ignores you, it's time to take action.

Evaluate the Situation

**Put aside your hurt feelings and evaluate the situation.** If your boyfriend is isolating himself, it may be that he is busy with school, work or family. He may not be able to focus on your relationship while handling his personal or professional business. Many people, and not just men, cannot multitask. However, if he makes a habit of disappearing for days or weeks at a time, and then simply shows up and expects to pick up where he left off, reconsider your relationship. You don't need an off-and-on boyfriend.

Give Him Some Space

**Back off and give him some space.** Burning up his phone with text or voicemail messages won't help your relationship. Avoid venting on social media: He may be monitoring your page, or his friends may tell him what you've said. Once he realizes that he hasn't heard from you for a few days, he may contact you and ask if something is wrong. If he doesn't contact you within a week, he may have moved on and doesn't know how to tell you that he wants to break up.

Busy Yourself

**Find something to busy yourself.** Your life should not revolve around your boyfriend. Take time for yourself. Go to the gym or spa, take up a hobby, or read a good book. Plunge into that redecorating or gardening project you've been putting off because you haven't had time. Sing, write, paint -- follow your own creative passions. Spend time with friends and family that you may have ignored while in the throes of your relationship. However, avoid going out to the club and getting blasted; alcohol is not your friend when you're depressed or having relationship problems.

Move on

**If it's over -- move on.** Although it's difficult, you may have to accept that the relationship is over, and he chose the immature way out. Allow yourself to mourn, but avoid putting all of your relationship problems on social media. A simple message to friends, "I'm single again," is more than enough information. While you may be sad, your long-term happiness should not depend on another person. If you find yourself sinking into a depression or obsessive behavior, talk to your doctor or a mental health professional. Counseling can help you get past the dark places that affect your life and future relationships.

About the Author

With degrees in fine and commercial art and Spanish, Ruth de Jauregui is an old-school graphic artist, book designer and published author. De Jauregui also worked in the Napa Valley as a high-end catering assistant. She enthusiastically pursues creative and community interests, including gardening, home improvement, pet rescue and social issues.

Photo Credits

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